Nikša Spremić committed suicide because the Croatian Church did not allow him to become a priest as he was gay

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Nikša Spremić was one of the greatest people who Dubrovnik had ever had in its long and glorious history.

Nikša Spremić abandoned this world on Christmas Eve. This damn world which had abandoned him a long time ago. It abandoned him since he had stepped into the insensitive jungle of the grown-ups. The world was not able to stand the fact that he was on his own, totally on his own, therefore he was completely different from others. He was different compared to all the matrix in which 99 per cent of the people float over the line of least resistance which is a well oiled anal hole.

The whole life of Nilša Spremić would have been completely different if he had not said the damn sentence which marked his worldly life.

-I am a gay- he declared himself in public.

If only he had not said that damn sentence which contains only three words. If only he had not said those adjectives, prepositions, proverbs and other similar additions- today Nikša Spremić would be a reputable priest, one of the rares in The Catholic Church with an extraordinary education and knowledge of the foreign languages, but also a tolerant person with wide views. Anyways, Nikša Spremić would rather choose death than living as a priest in a lie and hypocrisy. It really happened eventually as he rather chose death than speaking from altar one thing, but in real life living something completely different, exactly as the mass of priests do in the matrix, floating over the line of least resistance which is a well oiled anal hole.

He was one of the best people who Dubrovnik has ever given in its glorious history and if you ask me, on the following session of the City Council, a street should be named after him as he really deserved it. He was a man who perfectly spoke the following languages: English, French and Italian. In his CV he could also be proud of the degree he earned at Oxford University which is the most prestigious university in the world. As he was enrolled in the prestigious British studies he became the first Croatian historian who had ever succeeded something like that. He was chosen between thousands and thousands of the people who applied from all around the world. In 2011. he graduated and became a research master in the field of economic and social history. Even before that he had also graduated the history of arts at the University of Zagreb and he was also partly attending that studying at the University Duke in the USA. He spent his last years attending a doctoral study at the Roman Pontifical Gregorian University. However, this extraordinary education is a less important part of his personality. More than anything, Nikša was a good man full of empathy. His life wish was that the whole world lives in peace, love, joy and tolerance according to the worlds of Jesus. It was the main reason why Nikša always had a piece of desire to become a Catholic priest so that he could spread the messages of love from the altar. 

As soon as he graduated at Oxford, Nikša tried to be ordained as a priest, but the priesthood from Dubrovnik and Croatia, and the High Officials of Croatian Catholic Church hampered any possibility from the very beginning. They did not care about the fact which testified how Spremić was a very educated man with a lot of reading experience. Furthermore, they did not care about his goodness and his fulness of empathy. They refused him as he publicly admitted that he was a homosexual. That same Church has been hiding for years, decades and centuries paedophilia and other immoral anomalies in its rows. At the same time, it does not allow a man to become a priest because of the fact he declared himself as a gay. It would be the same as if they did not give him a right to preach from an altar only because he was bald or because of his blue eyes.

Homosexuality, same as baldness and blues eyes, is a consequence of the several genetic combinations and this fact has been proved by science for a while. However, this news did not affect the Church and also it didn't mean anything to many other citizens. To conclude, it should not be a relevant thing if a priest is a homosexual or a heterosexual as all the priests have to live the life of celibacy. It actually does not matter at all by who had been attracted a priest before his priesthood call i.e. was he attracted by males or females.

Nevertheless, the rigid Church with worldviews from the middle ages did not want to hear about the possibility which would enable Nikša to become a monk. It is the same Church which has been repeating the words of Jesus every week for the last two thousand years over and over again: 'He who is sinless among you, be the first to throw the stone.'

What a paradox, the Church exactly took the first stone and throw it on Nikša, instead of following an example of Jesus as they always swear in the belief of his teaching. They should have received him as an abandoned man who used to be excluded from the society and whose basic human rights were violated.

Therefore, Spremić did not have support in the priesthood of Dubrovnik and the rest of Croatia. They refused him without any valid reason which really affected this young man from Konavle. Afterwards, he directed himself toward secular directions. During these years he was an assistant of The EU's Parliament representative Oleg Valjalo who came from the rows of Social Democratic Party of Croatia (SDP).

This did not help Spremić to become a priest as it is well known that Croatian Democratic Union (HDZ) and Church are great friends. As he obtained his duty in the EU Parliament, Spremić openly conflicted with Željka Markić and Kolinda Grabar Kitarović sending letters. The priests did not forget him this act as well.

After a brief political engagement, he started studying in Rome hoping again that he could find there an opportunity to become a priest. Nevertheless, in the Roman Church rows, he was only able to see the whole hypocrisy of the priesthood. Many of the monks did not practice celibacy and they also enjoyed several other forms of hedonism.

That hypocrisy and lives full of lies really made Spremić sick, therefore a fire and desire which were smouldering in him and were making him wish to become a priest little by little faded away and so he again continued working in historical archives. In Belgrade, he found a real archival treasure, he studied some valuable material and he planned to write books. However, by the combination of circumstances, he met a university professor from Croatia who he had known from before. He told him that he became a monk in The Catholic Church of Belgrade, and as he told him, it is a much more liberal process there than in Croatia. This again made the flame of desire burn in Spremić and he again was hoping to become a priest. The fire of desire was burning in him stronger than ever. He felt it should have been then or never. Roman clergymen gave him the advice to contact the colleagues in Slovenia what he eventually did. After their conversation, it was defined that Sentić was able and supposed to start his journey of becoming a priest last autumn.

However, the main role was again played by the priesthood of Dubrovnik and Croatia led by high officials of the Church. They were not satisfied with the fact that they refused him at home, furthermore, they sabotaged his acceptance in another diocese of another country. They were not only the ones who threw the first stone, but they also toppled the entire stonepit on him. They warned Slovenian colleagues that Nikša is not the one who is supposed to belong to the Church. Of course, his biggest crime was that he was gay, but also they did not accept his other characteristics well, therefore they did not want him close to them. Tolerant people who think with their own heads are hated by the Church and also the ones who do not match to the matrix of well-oiled anal holes. Once again, Nikša Spremić was refused by those who were supposed to be the first ones to offer him help.

He deeply fell into a huge depression which culminated with his suicide on Christmas Eve. He rather chose death than a life of hypocrisy.

Some people may say that he shouldn't have hurt himself as he had been able to continue his life in another direction. Maybe he was able to continue his life following some worldly directions. However, we may also conclude that he should have never said that damn sentence which contains only three words- without any adverb or object- as this had market his worldly life.

- I am gay!

He could have stayed quiet about that, he could have become a reputable priest and vote for HDZ, Kolinda and Željka Markić. At the same time, he could have practised sexual pleasures between two mass services, as many of the priests regularly do (but it is never spoken about this in public). He could have driven a limo which has a heating seat system, he could have had lunches, he could have been going on trips and use spa services, same as many of the priesthood members do live. He could have lied about historical facts, he could have underemphasized the crimes committed in Jasenovac in accordance with attitudes of the reputable Croatian bishops who spend their spare time hanging out with convicted war criminals. He could have participated in tourist-real estate businesses, conduct dubious construction jobs with suspicious people, same as those who refused him have always been doing. He could have rented numerous real estates which Church owns all around Croatia. Furthermore, he could have supported the idea the married couples are supposed to have as many children as they can and invite them from the altar to do so although the Church has never provided any flat, kindergarten or a playground.

All those things Nikša could have achieved only if he had taken the line of least resistance, same as 99 per cent of the humans do. Nevertheless, if he had done it that way, he could not have looked himself in the mirror. He would have known that he was not fighting for the rights of the oppressed and discriminated ones..., as he also belonged to this group. He said he was gay in public only because he considered that it is supposed to be something really normal according to the worldview he had, same as it should be normal if someone is bald or has blue eyes. To conclude, these are just genetic games and there lays the beauty of dissimilarity. However, human consciousness is at the level of amoebas, humans do not understand anything and they continuously make others suffer. It was too difficult for the soul of Nikša Spremić and that is why he left this world.

May you rest in peace great man, this wasn't a world for you, you were too good for it.

Author: Maro Marušić

Translation into English: Ellie Leoni

*The facts mentioned in the text are based on conversations between the author and the people who knew Nikša well and who Nikša confided